Jan 3, 2012.
Some kill-joy on campus brought to everyone's notice that there are less than 100 days to go for graduation, post which we shall be solemnly kicked out. Less than 100 days. I don't think I can explain what it felt like.
The discomfort reminded me of a term that I once knew but had forgotten. 'Shenpa'.
What is Shenpa? It's this: http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/shenpa3a.php
In simple words: it's attachment, urge, stickiness to anything. And apparently, the way to deal with it is to experience it in entirety, allow yourself to grieve for the loss, and then try and move on.
That's precisely what I will now be doing in the coming three months. Saying Goodbye. Why so early? Because I know that three months hence, when I will find myself on the gate with my back facing the campus, it's gonna hit me. And hit me real bad. It's hitting me as I write this post. It won't be easy. Which is why I will break it down. Conquer the monster in small bits and pieces.
No, I won't go around sulking, but yes, I will be a lot more attentive to things I so took for granted. I will try and have a lot more fun, but each day, I am going to pack a little bit, and allow myself to feel that pinch. Just a little bit. So that, on the last day, I can accept the exit as graciously as I accepted the entry.
I can see things changing :)
